Oh the emotions

I went to visit Dr M today to just chat. I prayed before I went in because I could feel the emotions. It was like stepping back in the routine and having to deal with things again. I am not sure I am ready for this. I wanted to ask her about acupuncture and about what I can do to help things. She said she was very sorry and sad things haven't worked yet. I don't blame her. The tears did come. She just sat and listened and for that I am thankful. I do think we could be friends on the outside, that is how well we get along. I asked her to be honest with me about how the eggs looked last time, she said good at day three (day of transfer). This is good but kind of makes it hard for me for to swallow because not sure what is not working inside. I am more sad because this could be the end. This will be the last transfer. We are somewhat hopeful but do only have 2 to transfer IF they both make the thaw. I left the office and just wanted to cry but instead had to stop thinking about it and move on to see my patients. Later, I was able to grieve with the hubby, who is not looking forward to the emotions involved with the next month and beyond.