Join the movement - 5 must haves for battling infertility

We have been dealing with infertility for the past 2.5 yrs. It has been a long battle with many ups and downs. We have both grown through this process and think have become stronger individuals and closer as a couple. This week we are celebrating national infertility awareness week. I wanted to share 5 things that I think everyone needs/should have with traveling this journey.
1. A supportive spouse - I think this is kind of a given because there are so many papers each have to sign and definitely need a sperm and an egg to form a baby. For women there are also alot of emotions we go through and it is nice to have a spouse who understands and is able to deal with those emotions. Don't get me wrong there are tough times too but we traveled the same path together. Be sure to take special time away from the process and spend it with each other to keep that 'spark' going.
2. A supportive family/friends - Second to a supportive spouse, you need to surround yourself with friends and/or family that love you. There are times when you will be down and a note or call or text from a friend is always a boost you need. They are someone to vent to and pray for you when you need it. Also, they can help give you the distractions you will need. Just as it is good to spend time with your husband, it is also good to have a girls night or something. Their support is a must!
3. Faith - I realize that some may get angry and blame God for this disease, but I found it easier to not be angry. It took too much time and energy. I found it helpful to pray in the good times and the bad times. I actually have been able to turn to verses in the bible to help me after times of failed IVF. It seemed to ease the pain some. God is walking with us during this journey and not sure we would have been able to have the strength we needed without Him. I know that He has a plan for us, just trying to be patient and content while we wait to see what that is.
4. Doctor you love - This is super important. There are many doctors that 'claim' they treat infertility but may not have as good success rates or even able to perform all possible procedures needed. It is important to investigate and find the right doctor. Also it is good to have a connection with them. I absolutely love Dr. M. Even though it hasn't worked for us, I wouldn't trade her for another doctor. Find a doctor that makes you feel that way.
5. Lots of money - Depending on how far you may have to go and your insurance coverage or lack there of, it can get very expensive. Luckily for us we have been able to pay for it as we go, but realize that is not the case with everyone. Some have to take out loans and what not. I hope insurance companies start to cover this better.
This is my top 5 needed for traveling the journey. There are many others but this is what works for me. Hope this helps you to form your own. Good luck in your process. Focus on the blessing you do have and love each other.

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html
http://www.resolve.org/niaw

Join the movement - turning bad into good.

Many have and are battling with infertility. As you read through my blog, you will realize it is a very emotional journey. It can turn your life and your marriage up side down. In the beginning it was like that for me. That is all I focused on. We went through multiple IUI (intrauterine insemination) and 2 IVF's. After the first IVF and I felt sorry for myself and husband but did find it helpful to help another person through it. Luckily for her she became pregnant. I decided I needed to focus on the positives of this process. I began to help another couple through their IVF and then a close friend as well. It was nice to share my experiences with them as well as my faith and strength. I believe that is what helped them to become stronger. I then decided to start my blog. I thought if I could help those few, why not others throughout the nation. I hope to help people remember they are not alone and their are others dealing and have dealt with same situations. Also I hope to be able to help people find more positive ways one can deal with it. We have all been dealt rough hands but it is what you chose to do with those hands. I chose to find ways to help others in similar situations.
I have also changed my focus to love and care for those who are around me. I have many children of close friends and a few family that love me. I have decided to put my energy into loving them back and be that second adult figure they can come to and have fun with. They say it takes a village to raise a child and so I want us to be apart of those children's lives. We have much to offer them and think we will also learn from them. I love being able to give them a break in routine and their parents some time to themselves as well.   If nothing else, I can be the 'mother' to many. I am blessed.
Can check out these sites below for info about infertiltiy. Happy National infertility awareness week!

 http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html

 

http://www.resolve.org/niaw

mothers day

found this pic today on pinetrest. I love it and thought would share with you all. It is sooo true.  Some of us have little ones we hold in our hearts and will only meet in heaven. Others wish and want to someday be a mother to their own. I know that day really sucks! Remember we can be a mother to many :) I hope for those who are reading that are mothers, remember those who are wanting and send a quick prayer out that day. I could keep ranting but will spare us all and let the picture do the speaking. Love to all!

last round

So we have officially set the next date for our last round. It is a bit off still but talked with michelle to get the meds all worked out and set up. Really not looking forward to going back on them....and neither is my husband...lol. They make me a little crazy and emotional. Imagine that. I have gone back and forth about acupuncture as well. I have called and got some prices and have decided that in the whole scheme of this, it is a drop in the bucket so made my first appointment for that as well.  Looks like once I start it will be every week so will get about 4 treatments in before the transfer. It will all come so fast. Luckily I have some other things coming up that will distract my time and hopefully not make infertility the focus over the next few months.

Oh the emotions

I went to visit Dr M today to just chat. I prayed before I went in because I could feel the emotions. It was like stepping back in the routine and having to deal with things again. I am not sure I am ready for this. I wanted to ask her about acupuncture and about what I can do to help things. She said she was very sorry and sad things haven't worked yet. I don't blame her. The tears did come. She just sat and listened and for that I am thankful. I do think we could be friends on the outside, that is how well we get along. I asked her to be honest with me about how the eggs looked last time, she said good at day three (day of transfer). This is good but kind of makes it hard for me for to swallow because not sure what is not working inside. I am more sad because this could be the end. This will be the last transfer. We are somewhat hopeful but do only have 2 to transfer IF they both make the thaw. I left the office and just wanted to cry but instead had to stop thinking about it and move on to see my patients. Later, I was able to grieve with the hubby, who is not looking forward to the emotions involved with the next month and beyond.

fast forward

I started this blog several months into my infertility journey. I am not going to catch up to real time. Jump forward about 5 month. We spent the last several months enjoying time together with family and friends. Doing what we wanted and felt back to myself. I must say it was really nice and very thankful we did that. However occasionally we would look back and face the reality of this journey. We still have 2 frozen blasts. I kept putting it off because I did not want to face the future and possible reality. It made me sad just thinking about it. Mark and I however agreed to do it before our year was up after initial freeze. That month seems to come closer and closer at a faster pace making me face it head on. We decided to set a tentative date in the next coming month or 2. To start the process I have made an appointment just to chat with Dr M.

surrogacy

I had a friend and then one of my sister-in-laws ask me about surrogacy. They both offered to carry our baby for us. It is one of the most unselfish things they could do. I actually briefly thought about it. The problem is they are not completely sure why they will not attach. There is no guarantee it will attach to them. Mark and I talked about it a little. It is definitely something to consider depending on the cause but for us and for now, we decided it is not something we want to do. I do greatly appreciate their thoughtfulness of it because it is very giving of themselves. Maybe we would reconsider in the future but it would take a lot of investigating all the details and cost. It does work for others and I am glad there are people willing to do that.

enjoying

I am sitting here enjoying life free of medications. We have been spending time with each other and friends and family. Do not get me wrong I am still sad at times but it is different. I am not thinking about it every day, all day. It is far easier to focus on the good things we have. I know that is the back of my mind I have one more cycle of IVF pending. Part of the reason it stays in the back of my mind, is because I do not want to face the thought of dealing with it failing too. I do not want to deal with this emotions and sadness. It may work, but there is no guarantee and at this point I like being myself again.