The next few days did not get any easier. Everywhere I turned, there was a reminder of what it would be like to have a baby. I just keep thinking about us not having one. On the outside I an holding it together (I think) but on the inside my heart still hurts and is crumbling. I do not know how else to explain it. It truly sucks! I do not was to be around anyone. I just want to cry. I sent a few prayer requests to a couple of different groups on line. Not only did I ask for a baby but also to help us find comfort in where God may have us going. It is a very difficult journey. I just want to be happy again. I want to be my old self. I want to find the joy in my life again. A part of me does not know if I can do this again. The other part is not ready to completely shut the door. We do have enough for one more transfer but just not thinking it will be any time soon.
I am so sorry to hear that you are hurting again. I continue to keep up with your blog and try to respond to all your posts but they never seem to post! I just want you to know you are not alone. We don't know each other but seem to be dealing with all the same emotions.
ReplyDeletebummer that your posts do not seem to work but glad one finally did. I am sorry that you have to go through this too! I wish you did not. I hope that things work out for you, even if they do not for me, but it is good to know that I/we are not alone.
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