moving on

It has been a few weeks since the last failed FET (frozen embryo transfer). The anger has subsided. I still hurt inside but is a little easier to hide...most days. I still do not want to be around babies. As I keep stating, Mark had been really good in dealing the emotions when they arise. I know that they will never completely go away. There is a part of me deep down that still hopes to have a baby of our own someday but Mark and I are not ready to talk about any future for us. We are just trying to enjoy our life on a daily basis. I have gotten my self into running with a friend to change my focus and hoping that helps with the 'depression' or sadness. It has been good to run and have something to look forward to every week. I hope it continues. We did celebrate my birthday recently and it was bittersweet. I was hoping I would have been pregnant by then, but that obviously didn't work. So instead, I turned it into a birthday week :)