3rd is over

We are officially done. The test was negative. The office called me around lunch so it was hard to finish seeing patients the of the day, I just wanted to go home to see Mark and cry. I felt sick all day and only ate 1/2 sandwich. It was a bad day! As soon as I saw him, I just cried. He is super supportive. He had flowers and a card waiting for me. He text me to tell me he loved me and we have each other. I am glad to have gone through this with him. A part of me is angry this time. Mark tells me not to be. I am not mad at a person, just that it didn't work. We spent LOTS of money and have nothing to show. Luckily mark is smarter than me and said he would have not traded it and is glad we did all the treatments. He would do it all over again. It is just hard knowing we will not have a kid of our own, or even one ever. I realize that this is not what God has planned for us, it just sucks when our plans are different than His. I do not know what He does have in store for us but I am hoping it is far better than I can imagine at this time in my life. I am not sure I am going to be able to talk about it for a while and almost just want spend time with just the two of us. I don't want to talk about it. I need to sort through my feelings. I am thankful for a husband who has dealt with all my crazy emotions and still loves me. I will say this...I hope others do not have to go through the amount of heartbreak we did. It has changed our lives and who we are forever!