Wednesday, July 3, 2013
running
Have been running some and must say it is a nice change to focus on trying to be healthy and feel good with myself. I actually have a 2 mile race I am running with my nephew tomorrow and am looking forward to it. It has helped keep my mind focused. I have been able to speak about it a little when people have asked. I think it has helped to be open and straight forward when having the discussion. Some time there are tears that come but not as frequent. I still can not be around babies, it just breaks my heart too much. I do have a good friend that is pregnant and feel bad that I do not ask her about it or inquire how things are going. It just hurts. I am very happy for them but sad for us. I finally told her that and with lots of tears but feel relieved that she know deep down I do care and would be there for her if she needs anything. She knows all we have been through and am blessed that she understands and knows that is how I feel.
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That is always hard...I am glad your friend is understanding. I hope her pregnancy does not hinder your relationship with her. I have been there and it was very difficult to 1) see my best friend pregnant 2) go through infertility without her listening ear and 3) her pulling away bc she felt guilty for being pregnant. Thankfully we worked it out and now I get to hold her baby and get my "baby fix" somewhat fulfilled. Love you.
ReplyDeleteSo far it has not changed too much but am not sure how it will go holding the baby after it is born. I am just starting to want to play with my niece who is 1. I am glad things worked out with your friend. It is definitely difficult and emotional territory for all involved.
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