friends

I had thought I wrote something about this in the past but can not see that I did so...I am going to do so now. I had several friends become pregnant during  my IVF treatments. Some much closer than other. I have a close friend who became pregnant around the time of my last IVF. They all knew how difficult the situation was for me. However I have had two different ways people  handled it. I am going to explain as to hopefully help those who know someone going through as to not hurt them. One of my really good friends called me on the phone and let me know. I know she was nervous and maybe even did not want to do it and even said that. I really appreciated her letting me know and acknowledge the feelings it may cause to me. Yes there were tears from me but I was/am very happy for them. I am just sad for my self. I think that is the best way to handle the situation. I recently had a different approach. This was from someone who knew a lot of the feelings I had  while dealing with infertility and opened up with her, well in a group really. She elected at this point to not tell me, despite the fact that she is now showing. I am sure she is not sure how to handle it but this is NOT the way. It actually makes me feel even more disappointed and upset about the fact that she does not tell me. She may think that is her way of not making me upset but trust me, ignoring it and me is not. My advise is to be upfront but say it in a non bragging way and acknowledge the feelings it may cause. Be okay if she cries and maybe even cry with her. She is not mad at your, she is crying for her loss.